My mother, who passed away two years ago, continues to appear in my dreams. Her death came as a surprise because she was a fit 79-year-old woman who balanced caring for my disabled father with an active social life. The three of us lived in the same house for the last 25 years. As my parents' only child, I helped my mother with my father's demanding care. When I was young, we lived in a much more valuable house in an attractive neighborhood known as "Professors' Hill," but my parents sold that house when I moved away. I then lived in another country for a few years. Selling the beautiful house was ill-considered, perhaps a sudden impulse on my father's part. It was not in my mother's nature to protest. In the last months of her life, our former house came up in our conversations as a painful topic. I regret allowing this to happen today because she clearly felt guilty about her and my father selling a valuable property that could have been passed on to me. Last night, I dreamed that it was a dark winter afternoon even though it is summer here now. My mother and I were looking at old books in an antique bookstore. One of the books had the short title About Me, and we were amused by the strange topics the old books dealt with. Suddenly, we found ourselves on "Professors' Hill," where we passed our old house. I walked around the old garden and looked through a window while my mother walked ahead to catch the downtown bus. I didn't see the current owners of the house because they had obviously gone to bed for the night. When I returned to the road, I saw my mother far ahead. I jogged to catch up with her, but she disappeared into a crowd of elderly people. By the time I reached the bus stop, she was nowhere to be seen. I concluded that she had left without waiting for me.
Dreams involving deceased loved ones can be particularly poignant, often stirring deep emotions within us. In your dream, your mother’s presence may symbolize unresolved feelings surrounding her passing, your shared history, and the transitions in your life.
The Antique Bookstore:
Dark Winter Afternoon in Summer:
Professors’ Hill and the Old House:
Chasing Your Mother:
The Bus Stop:
This dream speaks to the intricate bond you had with your mother and addresses the emotional complexities tied to loss, regret, and self-identity. The repeated appearances of your mother in dreams may be her way of encouraging you to confront these unresolved emotions. As you reminisce about shared memories through positive and painful lenses, this dream suggests a pathway to reconciliation with your past.
You may consider using reflective practices, such as journaling your thoughts and feelings about your mother, engaging in conversations with supportive friends or therapists, or exploring art forms that express your grief. Ultimately, it's about embracing the love she gave you while also honoring your path forward.